let me take you into the facet of my relationship that finally ruined by my deepest regret of being ignorance. she is young, vibrant, adventurous, beautiful in her own absolute beauty, motherly, patience, and most importantly a lover to me. we started the beautiful story of our relationship with a simple outing that fostered our relationship to become closer. we exchanged text messages soon after. i was there for her during hard times and so did her. day after day it became stronger to the point, when we had a fight, we missed each other the next hour passed by.
she hailed me for being able to change her from a teenager to an adult which she finally did and move on with that. she showed me love. unconditional love. but i..on the other hand, did not show her my love enough. i was being ignorance, i admit that. i broke her heart numerous times but thank god we still stayed with each other until not so long ago.
i shall describe why i became ignorance in the first place. i wanted to discover how strong her love really is. in fact, to my knowledge it was strong. i made her cried at night but it was not for long as i came back the next morning for i know she is the one for me then. i never wanted to make her love wasted.
started when i knew how immortal her love, i developed this intense feeling of love for her. i vow to myself, to which i never had a chance to tell her, to keep her for my future companion. to provide her with the finest love beyond what she has experienced. to provide comfort for her when she really need it. to fulfill her every dream. to kiss her forehead before saying goodbye every now and then. to hold her hand without letting go in dire situations. to buy her flower every morning shall time permits. to embrace her when she cry and wipe her tears dry. to sing her love songs but not lullaby every night before she fall asleep. most importantly to shower her with love beyond poetry.. when a man really loves a woman, there is no obstacle that hinders his from achieving all those.
unfortunately, i never had a chance to do so for i was too late. i dared to take the risk when i hid all those. i understand the consequences in the first place but i wanted it to be worth the sacrifice. i gambled our relationship for the sake of investigating. she could have won it by now and im the loser. but if the table turns around, she will deserve more than what she expected before this.
i can see my future for i have what it takes to execute all i have dreamed of in live. to have a proper life, a career, a financial status and everything. perhaps a successful man in his own way, InsyaAllah. but behind every successful man, is a woman, and i don't see that it is her just yet. i may have a chance to make it her if that is written by God. well.. im crossing my finger again. time is all we have and God has made a plan for every one of us.
now, does this justify of why it was very difficult to let her go? look at it this way. i struggled along the way climbing a mountain until i reached the pinnacle when i felt like i could wind down and look at the beautiful scenery nature has to offer. all of a sudden, i was forced to jump off the cliff which i did eventually, would you accept that and dare to experience the excruciating pain? i guess you would not.
footnote# to Eden's daughter, i apologize for my love is immortal and you are precious
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